A rant about ‘*** – Boards’

Having worked at high-end restaurants over the decades, I have had to make Charcuterie boards, Crudite platters, and even huge platters of Caprese on a stick.

I have detested all of it.

Currently, there are articles, posts, and pictures of the various Charcuterie board expansions. The Butter board, with supposedly imported butter decorated with flowers and other things, showed up on my feed two years ago. The Spaghetti Table, where you get the entire bucket of spaghetti dumped on a common table to eat, including the sauces and meats, has been a staple of some restaurants in my area for decades. The are even kitchens who make platters of ‘Desert Flights’ that are meant to share, as long as you have several other people with you to go into a food coma with.

But the one I just saw… Breaks me.

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That bread recipe

Chef Rena’s no-knead bread

Usually there is a huge story about why something happens.  Let’s get to the recipe and technique.

You will need:

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Wash your hands

Yes, this is another article/rant about keeping basic hygiene while the world melts down about Corvid-19. Because, evidently, no one knows how to keep things clean.

Having been a chef for a few decades, I have seen things in kitchens that are not acceptable, and would put you off your feed if you knew about it. Hand washing has always been one of those things. We always have the Health Department signs up, with mostly humorous vandalism marks, to remind us how to, and how often to, wash our hands. I can say with certainty, over the last 20 years, only about 1/2 of the people I have worked with washed their hands on a regular basis.

The people you interact with, the servers, waitstaff, bussers, and bartenders have the worst record for washing their hands I have ever seen. That glass of water? You may want to think about it before letting any part touch you. And, unless you bring your own or are handed an individually wrapped one, the straws are ALWAYS suspect. Menus? It might have seemed silly watching a Host wipe them down in the past, but if they don’t do it, no one does.

Restaurants are going to be hard hit with the upcoming no-travel and quarantines. And, being a hell-hole of overworked, underpaid, and just burned out people, this might be a good thing. I am callous, I know, but most people who work in the front of house at restaurants just don’t stop to wash their hands. This shit has to be dealt with.

Be your own advocate. Ask for surfaces(like tables)to be wiped down with Quat or bleach solution. Don’t reach into dump-buckets of condiments. Be aware of how many hands have been in contact with your order. Don’t touch your server, which is creepy, anyway.

You can only control yourself. This includes how you interact with people, and how you keep yourself healthy. Know that most of the people who are interacting with you at a restaurant have not washed their hands after handling equipment or other peoples’ orders. By knowing that, YOU can be prepared and wash your hands with soap/warm water/appropriate time, use hand sanitizer, and limit social interactions that include touching anything unnecessary.

Wash Your Hands

PS: 9/20/2020 – It has been far too long while this has been going on. Take the above precautions, but be ever vigilant. We are just going to get worse before it turns and lets us humans, all of the world, get through this. It has changed things so much, what we will now consider normal our selves from last year would not recognize.

Chef Rena

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Elegant does not have to be expensive


A few years ago, my partner and I did the cooking for a couple who were getting married.  We did the pre-wedding dinner, which was more of a party than a rehearsal dinner.  The theme for the wedding was a Carnival/PJ party, and the pre-wedding dinner was just the start.

There were several things we had to keep in mind.  Allergies in guests, including a full-on meat allergy.  Doing the primary cooking at the client’s home, with just a little pre-done.  Having a grill for some of the food, but most of it being done on a regular consumer gas stove.  And leftovers. Continue reading

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Guest placards that work


Catering is hard enough without having to do full sit-down plated, multi choice service.  We have all done it.  And, unfortunately, it can be a bear to keep track of all the allergies and choices.

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to do the food for a  relationship conference.  It was a challenge, but it was really rewarding.  The hardest part of the planning was figuring out how to deal with the dinners to mesh with the theme, and to make sure the one banquette sit-down went off well.

I came up with a way to let the servers know what plate could go where.  Using business card blanks, we created place cards for everyone, plus a few because there are always late registrants, that were colorful and did not distract from the presentation of the food while the guests were socializing. Continue reading

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A blast from my past


I am going through some of my old files and I came across the ‘instruction sheet’ I had made for the school staff regarding my domain.  I mean the kitchen.  Every kitchen is different.  From the layout to how the plumbing works(or doesn’t), it is always good to have a set of procedures to be able to get through the day without having the place explode.

I have to share this.  The specifics are hilarious because of the level I had to write it on.  And the reasons for some of the instructions…  Oh, yes.  There are stories.

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“… And it’s Gluten Free!”


There are many catch-phrases today in food marketing.  Some are very over-used to the point of being a joke.  I will see on my social network feeds at least one ‘food marketing joke’ every day, and the use of ‘gluten free’ is the biggest percentage.

Yes, I am annoyed.  But it isn’t for what you think.

The food industry is there to extend the shelf life of food.  That sounds simplistic, but most of the techniques we have developed over the centuries in the home and commercial kitchens of the world do just that.  You take something that would have an on-the-counter life of perhaps a day and make it last weeks when in a home kitchen, perhaps months in an industrial kitchen.  The processing of ingredients to allow us to partake in the food far after the cyclical harvest is the prime reason for a kitchen.  And that is where the industrial food labs come into play. Continue reading

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The worst side-dish, ever.


I am a writer as well as a Chef.  I do writing exercises to keep my mind fresh for all the things I do.  I picked up “642 Things To Write About” for the new year.  On the first page of things to write about, the second phrase was, “The worst Thanksgiving dish you ever had”.

O.M.G.  That brought back a horrid memory.  Let me see if I can describe it.

Things were being brought to the table.  It was very simple, many people bringing things to share, as Thanksgiving is supposed to be about.  There were Meats, Veggies, Stuffings…  And That Dish.

It was a combination green-bean casserole (canned green beans, canned cream of mushroom soup, fried onions) and sweet potato pie(canned sweet potato/yam, pie spices, marshmallows).  It was because the person making the side dishes only had one deep pan, so tried to make both in the same pan at the same time.  It was soupy, under cooked and just…  Ugh.

It didn’t help that it had to travel to the gathering, too.

Trying to physically mix dishes is just a bad idea.  Pick one.  And do it well.

When trying to do something in the cooking realm, try to pick one thing at a time.  Really.  I can barely multitask when at work some times only because I have a set list of things that have to be done, and in the order they have to be done.  It is technically multi-tasking because as the bread is baking, I can put the water on for the pasta and then chop the veggies for the sauce.

There are too many recipes out there for both Green Bean Casserole and Sweet Potato Pie.  I will not add yet another set.  But I will say this – Fresh Green Beans.  Trust me on this.

Chef Rena

 

 

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Picture of the day: Mirepoix


The French have a culinary formulae for the yummy stuff.  Mirepoix is the onion/carrot/celery base for most soups, stews, stocks…  Just about everything savory.  In the area around New Orleans, LA, the celery or carrots are replaced with peppers, for that Cajun spark.

 

Basic French Mirepoix: Carrots, onions, celery.

Basic French Mirepoix: Carrots, onions, celery.

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Rena’s Granola Cookies


I try to have a few sweet things that I can cook easily available for the kids, and some of the adults.  Some times the healthy veggies are just too much.  I make at least one batch of these every week.
They are gluten free, too.
6c oats
2c corn meal
1/2 c mixed seeds(sunflower seeds, poppy, flax, etc.)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 tsp allspice
1tsp baking powder
Optional: 1/2 cup dried fruit
#10 applesauce, unsweetened
1 c molasses
1/2 c honey
1/2 c oil (olive, butter, etc.)
Preheat your oven to 350f.

Using a #2 disher/scoop, I tried to be even about the cookies.  One 'hooped' and, well...

Using a #2 disher/scoop, I tried to be even about the cookies. One ‘blooped’ and, well…

Combine all the Wet and Dry ingredients in their own bowls.  Of all things, I like to use a potato masher to sift the dry ingredients together.  Mix the wet and dry until it is very thoroughly mixed.
This is an amount that will make a 12inch by 18inch by 1 inch solid cookie(with extra), or about 64 cookies from a #2 disher.  Use parchment paper or a silpat to keep burning to a minimum.
Put the baking pans into the oven for about 1/2 hour, check them and turn.  Leave in for another 10 to 15 minutes.  Let them cool before putting them in a container.  They will still be moist on the inside and steamy.
I hope you have fun with these!
Chef Rena
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